Come on wuss it's just a door

[poll_the_stars]

Avetlarinyarenesaar... Is currently trying to force herself to walk another few steps. She hasn't managed it, yet. Her reason for stopping was perfectly ordinary - check the address, make sure it was correct, be sure she was in the right place. She'd been quite sure, but there wasn't any downside to double checking, so she double checked. And triple checked. She stopped herself from quadruple checking, but she wanted to anyway. To - be sure that she was right. Yes. Not because she was procrastinating, or nervous, or thinking what am I going to say? She wanted to be sure that she was right.

Well. She's right. She checked three times, there's no doubt to it.

"Look," she mutters to herself, "I get it, it's scary, but deal. You are not allowed to - to -" To what? Go home? Maybe try to work up the courage later? Maybe try and avoid the shren house like so many other dragons?

It was a door. It's idiotic to be afraid of a door. Sure, there were shrens on the other side of it, but there could conceivably be shrens on the other side of lots of doors, some of them were in hiding, hair dye existed. Subtle colors existed. She could have been near shrens any number of times.

That - did not actually make her fear go away. Instead it makes her want to curl up in her little apartment and not go outside again.

Great. Okay. Stop that train of thought, it's not useful. If she stands here any longer, people are going to stare. (Is that person over there staring? Probably. Damn.) Just - door. Go. Walk.

She forces herself to walk to the door, somewhat stiffly. And then she is at the door. ... Does she knock? Does she just open it and go in? She has no idea. It's customary to knock, so... She takes a deep breath and does so. Resisting the urge to flee and teleport away (or scamper into the bushes) isn't easy, but she manages it.

Comments

[alicornucopia]

"Are you anticipating dragons getting close enough to our houses to murder us all, or are you just very sensitive to the prospect of egg destruction? We don't even know how many dragons destroy their shren eggs."

[poll_the_stars]

Avet winces.

"I. Don't know. I don't know what I'm anticipating. I don't want you to be murdered, and I don't want shren eggs to be destroyed before they hatch. I don't like the, the - there will be a lot more dragons working to kill shrens, I think. I don't like the extrapolated social and murdery results. If it gets out."

[alicornucopia]

"So, infant mortality's better?" wonders Jensal neutrally.

[poll_the_stars]

"I. No?! It's not better, it's awful, I want it to stop! But I will not - shrens deserve to live. They should not die because they are inconvenient or so another baby dragon could live, everyone should live. No, no - if you play the pick and choose game, where does it end? Kill your neighbor so your babies don't die, sneak into your cousin's home and smash their eggs so yours will have a chance - no. No! It isn't better, but I refuse to start playing this horrific, sick game of, of, 'it is better for a shren to die for the sake of a baby dragon,' I refuse to say that one baby dragon can live over another, I refuse to say this is the way things are and let them die, before any of them are even hatched, or before they're a month old. No. I will find something better."

[alicornucopia]

Jensal listens to this impassioned speech... impassively.

[poll_the_stars]

Avet huffs, and buries her face in her hands.

"On a separate note, I am kind of disappointed in my entire species as a whole right now."

[alicornucopia]

"I'm familiar with the sensation."

[poll_the_stars]

She giggles a little.

[alicornucopia]

"Anyway. I have no reason to tell anyone, and perhaps more relevantly no one to tell. My crystal to the dragon council is for rogue shren reports only."

[poll_the_stars]

"Mm. I - the dragon genealogist I talked to might be able to extrapolate," she sighs. "But considering how she froze up the minute I asked a question that involved shrens, I don't think she'll come to the correct conclusion on her own. I'll check. I - don't know, I might lie about it, if anyone asks, I am actually likely the expert on the subject now. And they will expect me to dutifully tell them everything because they know best."

[alicornucopia]

"Checking with the genealogist might give her the idea if she doesn't already have it," points out Jensal.

[poll_the_stars]

"Yeah. And I mentioned to several people that I thought dragon magic was the cause of it." She sighs. She contemplates the ceiling. "Right. So. I have a limited amount of time until the other dragons figure out the problem. Goodie."

[alicornucopia]

"Do you need anything from me?"

[poll_the_stars]

"No, thanks. I'll get out of your hair. Thank you for listening to me ramble."

[alicornucopia]

"You seemed to need it."

[poll_the_stars]

"A bit, yes." She smiles at Jensal. It's genuine, and also kind of tired. "I'm going to get back to work. I'll let you know if I come up with anything."

[alicornucopia]

Nod.

[poll_the_stars]

And off she goes, back to work. She writes an explanatory letter to Ehail.

The most pressing problem is the one involving baby dragons dying. She - isn't actually sure it's dragon magic. Just mostly sure. Almost entirely, completely sure. But she has to check. She can check while also working. She calls up her line representative, and asks to be kept informed of the fate of the dragon babies whose fates she predicted. Then she gets to work trying to invent a spell to see where dragon magic comes from, and where it goes after a dragon dies.

[alicornucopia]

She gets a letter a few days later.

The one she thought would die has done so. The other is still kicking.

[poll_the_stars]

She looks at the letter, buys herself an extra box of chocolates when grocery shopping the next day, and gets back to work. She can't put off her job indefinitely, the one that earns her money instead of possibly saving lives. She goes to it, and she casts spells that are really rather petty in comparison to that other thing she's doing. She doesn't flinch at the first couple that want a spell to let them conceive, she nods and casts the spell and collects payment and tells them to have a nice day. And during the breaks between clients she works on the thing that matters quite a lot.

She collaborates with Ehail, and they go over her notes, and together they figure out a way to scry the dragon magic reserve.

[alicornucopia]

It's a variant on the spell that lets wizards look at the wizarding reservoir, the one Sand Dusk Chanters think is God.

The dragon magic reservoir is... smaller.

[poll_the_stars]

Yes. Yes of course it is.

Emptier, too, she expects.

I think, she writes to Ehail, That we'll do more if we invent a conception spell based on the reservoir. As in, a dragon cannot conceive with another dragon unless there is enough magic for the dragon to live. Without any chance of death or shrenhood. That way the number of babies dying and in pain from esu is capped while we work on solving everything else. For example: shrens.

[alicornucopia]

Ehail writes back. That sounds like a good idea. I guess if it's a spell conception it also means they don't have extra siblings beyond the one there's enough magic for.

[poll_the_stars]

Yeah. Which will make clutch sizes significantly smaller, but I don't think anyone will complain, considering, she agrees.

So. To work on that.

They do. Progress is made. Avet gets into the habit of setting alarms to remind herself to manage bodily functions such as eating and sleep. Lots and lots of letters are exchanged.

And then the spell is invented. Avet informs her line representative, and explains how the spell works.

[alicornucopia]

Her representative wants to know if it's relatively easy to cast or if people wanting to use it will have to come to her personally.