Come on wuss it's just a door

[poll_the_stars]

Avetlarinyarenesaar... Is currently trying to force herself to walk another few steps. She hasn't managed it, yet. Her reason for stopping was perfectly ordinary - check the address, make sure it was correct, be sure she was in the right place. She'd been quite sure, but there wasn't any downside to double checking, so she double checked. And triple checked. She stopped herself from quadruple checking, but she wanted to anyway. To - be sure that she was right. Yes. Not because she was procrastinating, or nervous, or thinking what am I going to say? She wanted to be sure that she was right.

Well. She's right. She checked three times, there's no doubt to it.

"Look," she mutters to herself, "I get it, it's scary, but deal. You are not allowed to - to -" To what? Go home? Maybe try to work up the courage later? Maybe try and avoid the shren house like so many other dragons?

It was a door. It's idiotic to be afraid of a door. Sure, there were shrens on the other side of it, but there could conceivably be shrens on the other side of lots of doors, some of them were in hiding, hair dye existed. Subtle colors existed. She could have been near shrens any number of times.

That - did not actually make her fear go away. Instead it makes her want to curl up in her little apartment and not go outside again.

Great. Okay. Stop that train of thought, it's not useful. If she stands here any longer, people are going to stare. (Is that person over there staring? Probably. Damn.) Just - door. Go. Walk.

She forces herself to walk to the door, somewhat stiffly. And then she is at the door. ... Does she knock? Does she just open it and go in? She has no idea. It's customary to knock, so... She takes a deep breath and does so. Resisting the urge to flee and teleport away (or scamper into the bushes) isn't easy, but she manages it.

Comments

[poll_the_stars]

"You're welcome. But, seriously, if you want credit, by name, I will give you credit, by name, and then glare at any dragon that scoffs at it and then ask them if they would like to keep letting their children die because a shren invented the spell that maybe might help stop it."

[alicornucopia]

"I don't - no, please."

[poll_the_stars]

"Okay. Then I won't do that." Pause. "And - er, sorry, for being pushy, I - want the world to be fair to you." Draconic, again. Fair as in morally right, fair as in logical, fair as in everyone gets it. No exceptions.

[alicornucopia]

Ehail looks away.

[poll_the_stars]

"... Sorry. Social klutz," she sighs. "I didn't mean to upset you."

[alicornucopia]

"It's fine. It doesn't matter."

[poll_the_stars]

Avet wants to ask Is it because you think you don't matter? but doesn't.

"I think it matters if you're upset," she says, instead.

[alicornucopia]

"I'm fine."

[poll_the_stars]

"Okay."

She doesn't believe that. But she also doesn't want to go crusading on Ehail's behalf and upset her in the process. Especially when the person she'd be crusading against is also Ehail. What a complicated situation.

(She hasn't noticed, but all of the fear of shrens is gone. Maybe not permanently, but for right now? She could be talking with another dragon for all she cared.)

"So," says Avet, all kinds of awkward, "Um. My line name's Larin, don't be afraid to mail me?"

[alicornucopia]

"All right. I don't work very fast, though. I probably won't have anything new to tell you soon."

[poll_the_stars]

"That's fine," she assures. "I'll send you updates when I have them."

[alicornucopia]

Nod.

[poll_the_stars]

"These are a copy of your notes, not your actual set, right? And it's fine if I take them with me?"

[alicornucopia]

"It's a copy. You can have them."

[poll_the_stars]

"Thank you." She smiles, a little. She wants to hug Ehail, again. She doesn't, again.

"Well. That's everything on my list, are there any analyses you'd like to use on me? Aside from the dragon magic one."

Step right up, she doesn't say, and see the dragon crazy enough to happily wander through a house full of shrens. Analyze her and see just how insane she is! She suspects the tone would be lost. Why hasn't anyone done this before, talked to anyone in here even briefly and learned that Ehail has a -

Nope, nope, don't go down that road, down that road lies darkness and pain and losing your shren wizard penpal, do not do that thing.

[alicornucopia]

"I don't have any others."

[poll_the_stars]

"Okay. Let me know if it changes."

It is so depressing that Ehail hasn't had a dragon to cast her analysis spell on. So depressing.

Damn it she needs to be out of this room before she starts ranting.

"I think that's all, then. Thank you," she says, sincerely.

[alicornucopia]

"You're welcome."

[poll_the_stars]

Smile. Stiffled ramblings about how Ehail deserves so much better.

"Bye. It was nice meeting you."

[alicornucopia]

"Thank you."

[poll_the_stars]

She waves, and the wave turns into a teleportation gesture, and she disappears.



Once home, she checks the soundproofing on her room, and finds it working just fine. Then she screams wordlessly into a pillow.

It's not fair. It's not right! She's angry and upset and wants desperately to fix it, yes the concept of shrens is awful and sad but it doesn't excuse treating shrens themselves awfully, and, and - that's guilt, that's definitely guilt. She didn't go sooner. She just - thought they were all awful, tried not to think about them, avoided the idea of them entirely.

She gets up, finds the records of her finances, and does math. She works out a reasonably sum she can afford to pay monthly and maintain. She mails that reasonable sum to the shren house in Esmaar, anonymously, and silently vows she is going to keep donating that sum. At least until a miracle comes along and cures all shrens. Which is hilariously unlikely, but hey, it could happen.

And then she retrieves the appropriate crystal, calls up her line representative, and asks about seeing some baby dragons to analyze so she can possibly fix the dying thing.

(And possibly fix the shren thing. She doesn't think she's a miracle worker, but she thinks she can make it easier for someone who is. At the very least.)

[alicornucopia]

Her line representative recommends her a clutch of malachites in Imilaat.

[poll_the_stars]

She hasn't been, but there's a teleportation circle that'll get her there fast enough. She takes it, finds the correct address, and knocks on the appropriate door.

[alicornucopia]

The door is answered by a green-eyed fellow in elf form with a baby draped over each shoulder. "Hullo. Are you that wizard?"

[poll_the_stars]

"Hello. I am, yes. My name's Avetlarin, it's nice to meet you."

(Her empathic signature sings grim determination.)